About a week ago my daughter asked me to put on my wedding dress. Amused by the idea, I put it on but I couldn’t do it up! In the past, that would have made me upset and sent me into a tailspin about my diet and exercise, the “what am I doing wrong” or “what am I not doing enough of” head game. But this time it was different. Instead of jumping out of my body, I landed in it. And I was quite alright with the fact that my body is not the same as it was 8 years ago in my early 30’s because where I am today in my life and who am today is totally different than who I was then.
I believe that our body today is a reflection of where we are in our lives. Our body helps to tell our story.
My body reflects that of a near 40 year old woman who has 2 young children and who does her best to balance what is most important to me in my life right now: my family, my health and my life’s work. There is no doubt that my stress levels are higher, I have more to juggle, I rush more, my sleep has been interrupted every single night for nearly 6 years, I have less time to focus on myself and I am not as strict with my diet now than I was 8 years ago. So how can I expect my body to look like it did then? My body has changed and evolved as my life has. I believe my body has become more Feminine – a reflection of fertility, motherhood, it is softer, curvier, fit, strong and healthy and instead of restriction and starvation my body reflects a love and enjoyment of high quality food.
When a client comes to me with the goal to lose weight, I always ask, “If you want to lose weight what is your “ideal” number you would like to get to?” And then I ask, “When was the last time you weighed that amount?” The most common answer is, “when I got married!”
But who were you when you got married compared to who you are today? Have you had more life experiences, have you had to deal with difficult challenges, have you had children, is how you eat now different than how you ate then? Have you gotten wiser? Has your exercise changed? Did you have to diet and restrict and do intense boot camps to get to your wedding dress weight? Do you have the time and desire to do that now? Are you in a different hormone phase now than you were then? Is your body more solid and grounded to handle the weight of your life now compared to what it had to carry before?
Let’s be more realistic about where our body is now as opposed to holding on to the image of where it once was. We can’t turn our life back, so how come we think we can turn our body back? That doesn’t mean we can’t change it, transform it, shape-shift it and optimize it, but how about we create a new image in our minds of how we would like to look, that would match where we are and who we are in our lives today?